April 10th. As I have mentioned in past blogs this date used to be the worst day of my life. A day someone I thought I trusted turned into a horrible monster and threatened my life which made me have to go into hiding for a while. My life was filled with fear and anxiety. Fear, every time I went out, drove down the street, walked into stores. Extreme fear!! Maybe that is why looking back at my life and going through what we are now I have worries and…I’m a germaphobe so this situation doesn’t help…but I am not dealing with major anxiety and huge fear like some are, because for me personally, I feel like this fear isn’t as big as what I have been through in my life. Funny how April 10th could be such a horrible day that I used to dread every year and then today April 10th, 2020 it is Good Friday, a day that is sad because it reminds me of what Jesus went through for all the horrible things I have done in my life, but wonderful because it reminds me that God chose to go through that pain and suffering for me. You see, before April 10th, 2003 my life was full of sin. I lived a double life believing at the time that if I died I would still go to heaven. I don’t believe that now. I know that what I was doing with my life back then and I truly believe it was not pleasing to God. I believe that if he had chosen to end my life back then I would now be in a place that will always freak me out and as the Bible says it is full of “weeping and gnashing of teeth”. I am so thankful that God sent his son Jesus as a gift to this world to die on the cross to save me from eternal punishment. That is my hope!! Jesus lived a sinless life and died on the cross and because He did when I confessed my sins and asked Him to forgive me he cleansed me. 

 “The wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 6:23).

God opened my eyes and showed me the truth and now I am so thankful that no matter what happens in life because I have put my trust in God I one day will be in His presence and I won’t have struggles, worries, or any kind of suffering. All will be perfect again and as I have heard one preacher say:  “I will enjoy the glory of God”.