Wow, wow, wow!!! As I got off the plane, as I walked into the ACMC conference and as myself and all the other missionaries that attended were asked to stand up, while we were applauded; I felt like I was in a dream. All weekend it has felt surreal. It is so neat to know that God has fulfilled my dreams and that I am a missionary in Canada. There have been times today were I have felt like pinching myself because it does not seem real that I have been flown down to go to a conference to equip me for my future and for what the Lord has in store for me.
My organization leaders have been so amazing at supporting me and I feel so blessed to have been asked to come down to Boston with them and go to this amazing conference that has taught me so much in two days. I could never thank Bill and Barb enough for what they have done for me and for the way that they want to equip me to help me to reach out to others.
The ACMC conference was held at Park Street Church. The speakers I heard this weekend were phenomenal! I enjoyed each one of them and they all made me learn something new. I went to plenary sessions and heard people like Tom Telford, Gordon Hugenberger and Paul Borthwick speak on “Global Challenges for the Global Church”, “Global Challenges for the Local Church” and “Essentials of an Effective Missions Church”. I also went to many different workshops on how to prepare for short term mission trips, how we can encourage others to go and how to make the short term mission trips have a lasting impact. They all were just so interesting and as the different speakers were talking I know God was working on my heart and He was planting so many things in me that I want to be able to do.
Ever since teen camp I have had the desire to share with some people what God has done in other peoples lives. In missionaries who are well known but who many youth don’t know because they are just not talked about as much anymore. I have wanted people to see how these people gave up their comforts and sacrificed their lives to go tell others about Christ. After this weekend and hearing everything I did I have more of a desire to do this. I am not sure how I will do it but I want to be able to have an open invitation to showing people different documentaries of all the amazing people that have worked all around the world to spread the good news. I want others to learn from these people’s lives and I want them to have the desire to serve God wherever He is calling them. Whether they do that in their own city or go to a different country.
One thing this conference really did to me personally was it made me realize that I do not need to be afraid of going and serving God in another country. I know that I am not supposed to have a spirit of fear and I know that Isaiah 41:10 says, “So do not fear for I am with you.” But I really started to be scared of the unknown. I have always been so excited in wanting to go and serve God in Africa however after teen mission camp my feelings started to change. Maybe it was because I wrote my excitement in a previous blog and Satan didn’t like it.
I have only shared this with my fiancé Travis and my mentor Tracy, but…I started having an attack on me that I felt scared to go to Africa in the spring. There were many different personal reasons and I kind of started replacing my excitement to go with all these worries and fears. I couldn’t really understand it and I knew it was from the devil and so I kept praying against it. I told Travis and Tracy that I needed to focus on reaching out to unsaved people and to watch videos and I prayed to God to just give me the peace I needed. Friday night I was really able to have that peace. I was able to grasp that “If we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord.” Romans 14:8 I saw later in my own Bible that I have that verse highlighted but somehow I had forgotten the truth of that verse and had let the devil cloud my thoughts. I realize now I really need to trust in God. He will take care of me and my life is in His hands. I remember my sister who worked in Afghanistan for two years used to say, “If God calls me home at the hands of the Taliban then so be it.” I always wondered how she could say that and why she didn’t have fear and yet now I get it. After this weekend I feel a complete peace and I am not worried about the future. I know where I am going when I die and so I should not fear going to work for God in another country. That is definitely a lie from the enemy and I need to focus on Biblical truth.
“Guide me, o thou great Jehovah,
Pilgrim through this barren land.
I am weak, but thou art mighty;
Hold me with thy powerful hand.
Bread of heaven, bread of heaven,
Feed me till I want no more;
Feed me till I want no more.”
This was a song we sang this weekend that was another little reminder to me that God holds me in his hands.
This weekend another thing that really stood out to me was the flag of Mozambique. This has been a country that for some reason has stood out to me and at one time I wondered if I was supposed to go there. When I went to the conference I saw many flags hanging around the main sanctuary. I saw the flag of China, Cameroon, Ukraine, Kazakhstan, and then I saw the flag of Mozambique for the first time. It shocked me when I saw this. There are machine guns on this flag. One of the speakers even commented on it too. I do not know if I ever will get to that country, and I do not know the reason why for years now it has stood out to me but one thing I realized this weekend is that I do know that I can start praying for this country.