On October 24th Joziah Enrique David Gosselin was born weighing 8 lbs and 8 oz. He is such a precious little guy who makes us laugh so much because he already has quite the little personality; he is also such a good baby. I couldn’t have asked for a better baby as he sleeps tons and only wakes up once or twice a night. He has lots of dark hair and dark eyes and is definitely a mix of Travis and I.
Physically I had a really good pregnancy. I had some nausea at the beginning and was extremely tired but after the first three months I felt great and felt like I had a lot of energy. Emotionally, however, it was a different story and Travis and I went through a lot of different emotions and at times felt like we were on an emotional rollercoaster.
At around three months I had a scare with the baby. It was horrible sitting in the ER waiting to find out if the baby was okay. It is one thing when you go into the ER for your health and you can tell if you are feeling worse or getting better, but it is another thing to have no idea what is going on inside of you. As I lay waiting for results and for the doctor to come in and tell us what was going on I remember praying to God and thinking that I would go through any pain just to make sure that my baby was okay. It was such a relief when we had an ultrasound and saw the baby moving. We were told baby seemed good, however, we needed to have a thorough ultrasound to make sure that everything was good
and that baby was healthy.
That same week I went and had a thorough ultrasound. Travis was present at the ultrasound and we found out we were having a baby boy. I can still see Travis massive smile when he realized he was going to have a son. We were so excited and thought everything seemed good until we went to the doctor that week and were told that they had found a spot on our baby’s liver and his heart. The thing was they didn’t know what this meant. I was told to not worry about the spot on the baby’s heart, but was told we were being sent to a hospital in Toronto to figure out what the spot on his liver was. A couple weeks later Travis and I went to Toronto. It was horrible lying on the bed in the hospital, getting an ultrasound done while hearing a couple doctors talk about my baby as if I wasn’t in the room.
Travis and I decided at the beginning of my pregnancy that we wanted to have the genetic testing done. We decided that we wanted to be prepared if our baby did have any illness or was going to need some extra care. Our tests had all come back negative, but when we were in Toronto the doctor told us that the tests could be wrong and that our baby could have problems. Also, he told us that our baby had a calcification on his liver and two on his lungs. The weird thing was they still couldn’t tell us what this meant. They weren’t worried about the baby’s health at the time, but were more worried what might happen once baby came. They also seemed to be really concerned about the lung spots and wanted to keep an eye on it. Even though I was over four months pregnant the doctor asked Travis and I if we were sure we wanted to keep the baby. I can still remember how shocked and sickened I was when I heard this. How could they even offer us that option? Travis said firmly that even if our baby had health issues we were keeping him. We ended up having to go to the hospital in Toronto a couple of
times and each time I had to get more tests done and we were told they still didn’t know what was going on with our baby. Each time we went we were again asked if we were sure we wanted to keep the baby. :S
It was a really hard time for Travis and I and yet I saw how perfect we were for each other through all this. At our wedding the song “When God Made You” was sung and I thought of those words so much through all of this because it was so true in our situation. “I wonder what God was thinking when He created you. I wonder if He knew everything I would need because He made all my dreams come true. When God made you He must have been thinking about me.” God knew I would need a husband like Travis. When I was down and couldn’t stop crying from the bad news we were hearing Travis was my strength making me realize we needed to continue to have faith and trust in God to heal our baby. He constantly reminded me that in the end it didn’t matter what doctors said…God could heal our baby. Also, there were times that Travis was
down and hurting and I was somehow able to be strong for him and help him think positively. It was just neat how God made one of us strong when the other was weak.
We decided to not share what was happening publicly with everyone and only shared with some friends and our families who were amazing prayer warriors and encouraged us incredibly. They were so positive the whole time and it really helped us to continue to be strong and continue to have faith that God could make these “spots” go away.
I decided to sing “Still” by Hillsong to my baby every day. I changed the words a bit and sang “Hide him now under your wing; cover him within your mighty hand.” I totally believed God had his hand on my baby and was looking after him. I spent time praying to God that He would heal my baby and Travis and I prayed the same thing together. I found Psalm 28:7 “My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song” and believed that everything would be fine and that my baby boy would be born with no problems. It was a verse I held onto when I felt like I was losing faith.
One month before I gave birth I had another ultrasound, but this time we didn’t have to go to Toronto. Though the technicians aren’t really supposed to tell you what is going on during the ultrasound my technician asked me what exactly had gone on and what exactly she should be looking for. I told her our whole experience and she did the ultrasound, but then got her supervisor to come in and look too. I could hear them talking. They said that the liver calcification was a lot smaller and the lung calcifications….they couldn’t find. They kept trying to look for them and finally the supervisor said, “Hmmm they must have evaporated. They aren’t there anymore.”
I could have cried right at that moment. I knew they had not just evaporated but that God had answered our prayers and had healed our little guy. Yes there was a liver spot still, but it had gotten smaller and the doctors didn’t seem as concerned about that one.
As you all know our baby was born and is a healthy little boy. At the hospital he had to have x-rays and an ultrasound but everything came out great. The neo natal doctor said that he still has a liver calcification, however, he said it could be like a birth mark on him that he always has and is not concerned about it at all. He said we could continue to do tests on him but he didn’t think we needed to when he looked so healthy and did all the things newborns should. The neo natal doctor had also told us that once the baby was born we would probably have to do chromosome testing but once he saw our baby he said he didn’t see any reason to do that. We are so excited and we are so thankful to God that
there were no complications when our baby was born. Our baby is a blessing and even though he is not even a month old he has a story to share of how God healed his little body and so that is why Travis and I decided to call him Joziah which is a Hebrew name and means the Lord has healed! God has done big things in his life already and we are excited to see what God continues to do
in his life. 🙂
Joziah Enrique David Gosselin