In my belly there is life. If I were to lie down and put a video camera on it you would see the life that is inside of me moving around. Every day I can now feel the kicks, somersaults and other actions the baby is doing inside of me. I receive weekly emails on how Travis and my baby is developing and today I read how our baby is now the size of a pineapple. I also read that the baby is going through major brain and nerve development, that the baby’s irises now react to light and all five senses are in working order.

Right now it is hard to not think about all we went through with Joziah when I was pregnant and it’s hard to remember all the things that the doctors told us. More than anything it is so hard to think that it was exactly at this stage in my pregnancy last time that Travis and I were asked if we wanted to “get rid of” Joziah. There have been times I have been saddened and have felt sick to my stomach when people have asked us why we named our baby Joziah and we tell them the full story. Not because of what we went through but because more than once when we finish telling our story others have said to us “We had the same thing happen to us and they asked us if we wanted to get rid of our baby too”, or “we know someone that happened to as well.” “Getting rid of Joziah” was NEVER an option for Travis and I. Sure we were uncertain of the future and what might happen once Joziah arrived but we knew no matter what we were keeping our baby and made it clear to the doctors that we did not believe in abortion. It does makes me realize how many times this must be said to parents expecting and how some parents who may not have the same beliefs as us choose not to keep their baby because they are too scared to think of what their future would be like.

Mine and Travis eyes have been opened though. I am thankful that I now am more aware of what happens and that I know the truth and know that abortion can be offered even when you are in your last trimester. It’s so sad and so many think that this doesn’t/can’t happen, but it does. If it doesn’t then why were we asked that horrible question at more than one appointment? :S

I am so thankful to God that this pregnancy has been so easy and we have not had to worry about the health of this baby or had to have multiple doctor visits and trips to another city. What a difference that has been but…I will not forget what we went through and I will be open about it so that others know the truth too.

In 2008 I was diagnosed with endometriosis. After years of having strong stomach pain, feeling nauseous and realizing that I was becoming more and more allergic to certain foods I decided to go down to a clinic in the city and have tests done for a week to figure out what was going on with my body. Endometriosis is defined as, “an often painful disorder in which tissue that normally lines the inside of your uterus — the endometrium — grows outside your uterus (endometrial implant)”. I was told at the clinic that because I seemed to have a bad case of it there was a very high chance that I may not be able to have children.

After Travis and I got married and we decided we wanted to try to have children we consulted with a naturopath. The naturopath also told me that there was a high chance I wouldn’t be able to have children and if I did it could take a long time to actually get pregnant. Travis and I knew this and we prayed and asked a couple of friends and family to pray for us. Even after all we were told about maybe never being able to have children we trusted that we could and well it turned out we had no issues getting pregnant and 9 months later Joziah was born. We were so grateful!!

Pregnancy was great for my endometriosis but shortly after Joziah arrived the pains and everything that goes along with endometriosis came back. It seemed to have gotten a lot better but it was still there. I continued to be allergic to food and lost weight fast because some food just didn’t sit well with my system. People just assume that I work out or that I don’t eat a lot because of my weight and yes I may be tall and have a lean figure but the truth is I stay the way I am because of my health issues. To be honest when people first started to make comments about how skinny I was or how I continued to lose weight it didn’t really bug me but after years of hearing it I started to get annoyed. I started thinking, “you have no idea what I go through each day and why I am this way.” It made me sad for those who work out and eat little to stay the way they are because they would look at me and think I was athletic but the truth is they probably work out more than I do and are healthier than I am. All I have been through has made me realize that you can never look at someone and think wow they have a great body or they must really work out because….you just don’t know what their story might be.

After Joziah was born I started to have other pains that I had never had. I thought it was normal to have them after you had a baby but after Joziah turned a year old and I continued to have them I decided to tell my doctor about it and see what she said. Turns out she thought I had now developed adnemyosis which is endometriosis inside of your uterus. It causes severe pain and pressure too. After some tests we realized that my doctor was right and adnemyosis…a word I had never heard of was in fact what I had.

August 27th, 2014 is a day I will never forget. I was on my way to an appointment to try to find out what we could do about my adnemyosis. As I got on the elevator a lady got on with me and I saw her looking at my body. She said, “So tell me what is your secret to having such a flat tummy?” I decided to be honest with her and politely I said, “Well I have endometriosis which makes me allergic to some foods and it’s hard to always keep my food in. It causes me to lose weight. That’s my secret.” She looked shocked and I think I surprised myself with how honest I was. She said, “I am so sorry!” realizing life must not always be fun for me. I got off the elevator feeling good about having been honest and maybe having made someone realize it doesn’t mean you are healthy just because you have a flat tummy. I went into my appointment to find out what we could do about my new diagnosis but as I was there the nurse started asking me questions and well the next thing you know I was taking a pregnancy test and she confirmed that I was definitely pregnant. I was in shock. I could not believe the news. The nurse kept asking me questions and I was so confused by everything she was asking me because I was in shock. I finally said to her, “I am sorry I can’t concentrate, I am so flustered.” The nurse laughed at me and when the doctor came in she said, “Well I hear congratulations are in order,” and laughed as well. The doctor proceeded to tell me that there was nothing they could do for me at that appointment because I was pregnant.

At our wedding our blessing had these words, “May the Lord bless you with children who will truly be used as arrows for the Lord, as you impact this world with God’s masterpiece: the family.” How I prayed that these words would be true one day and we would be blessed with little ones. God blessed us with one incredible little boy and we are so thankful for this new blessing that is growing inside of me now. Travis and I are so excited to know that there soon will be a new baby in our house and that our family is continuing to grow.