Recalling

This week I was looking through old photos of Joziah’s first year. He is three years old now and even though I am a little late I really want to do a photo album of that time in his life. As I was going through the photos I found so many wonderful memories. The moment I first laid eyes on my baby boy and seeing a picture of Travis seeing Joziah for the first time. I was reminded of that moment of finally having the baby that the doctors had been so worried about, healthy in our arms.
I also saw photos of Kiara and Joziah. Oh, how many photos of those two I have and man were they cute as little babies.

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I even found a moment of when Joziah started sleeping with that monkey he still has to carry everywhere. It shows me how much he has loved that thing when I look at how nice and new the monkey looks in this picture. (I will say that the past two weeks he has traded that monkey for a hat he took from my dad which he says is TobyMac’s hat).      IMG_0538

As I was going through my different albums I came across this photo. This picture was taken the night before Travis and I ever attended First Baptist Church in Orillia. 🙂

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This picture took me back to remember the time when Travis and I knew the church that we had been attending was no longer where we were supposed to be. We knew God was calling us somewhere else but we didn’t know where. It is weird because I right away wondered if we were supposed to go outside of our hometown but thought that was kinda crazy. I mean really why would we go outside of Barrie when there were lots of churches right here in the town we live in? We searched for a church for over a year. We attended different churches but none we attended felt like it was the one we were supposed to be at. We started attending one church but I wasn’t happy there. I used to love to go to church and yet now I was struggling every Sunday to get up and go. It was hard! I had complete peace of leaving our old church, but did not have a peace attending the church we were at.

My friend Amanda knew my struggle with attending this church and knew how unhappy I was going to church every Sunday. She told me I should check out her church and I was willing but Travis was concerned about the distance. Amanda and I started praying that Travis would change his mind and be open to checking out First Baptist Church. Eventually Travis said we could go one Sunday but we weren’t going to be attending there. So the night before we went there, my friend Amanda and her husband came over for dinner and games. We took this picture and then we stayed up till late in the night talking about God and a hard topic that often comes up. To our surprise when we got to church the pastor was talking about this same topic and answered so many of the questions we had been struggling with. We were in shock and we learnt so much. I knew right away that this church was the one I wanted to continue to try out but Travis was hesitant. Though he enjoyed the speaking and music he still struggled with the distance. So we kept going to the church we had been attending and then sometimes would go to Redeemer City, which is a campus of First Baptist Church. Amanda and I continued to talk and pray and then all of a sudden I just had this peace. I really felt like God was telling me something was going to happen in three months. I had no idea what that meant but I told Amanda my feelings. I didn’t know what it all meant. Maybe it meant that in three months I would just start enjoying the place we had been going or maybe we would all of a sudden find another church we both enjoyed or maybe it meant we would start going to RCC. I wasn’t sure what the three months meant but all of a sudden I had a peace and left it all in God’s hands. I decided not to ask Travis anymore if he would consider RCC and just sat back as he decided each week where we would go. Then all of a sudden, three months after I had that feeling that God was telling me “wait three months” we were driving out of the parking lot of RCC and Travis said “I think we need to make this our new home church.” 🙂 🙂 🙂 I was so shocked but so happy. I couldn’t believe Travis had just said that but I was so excited to think of RCC and our future there.

Week after week we learn something new from the Bible. We have enjoyed the teaching so much and are so thankful we are at a church that is not scared to preach about controversial issues. We do a family devotional tool with Joziah that was developed by the church and we are so proud of the way Joziah is learning the answers to the questions. He knows the answers to questions like:

  • “Are there more Gods than one?”
  • “In how many persons does this one God exist?”
  •  “Who are they?”
  •  “How many books are in the Bible?”
  • “Why did God make you and all things?”

He still answers, “Adam and Steve” when Travis asks him who our first parents were but we know one day he will say, “Adam and Eve.” Travis and I have grown in our relationship with God and continue to want to learn more and more. We do the RMM which is a Bible reading plan that the church does together and I have a friend who is my accountability partner. Speaking of friends we have been so incredibly blessed by friendships at this church. God has placed some amazing people in our life that I just can’t imagine my life without. Every week I have one or more people text me, message me and ask me what they can pray for. Travis and I have loved being able to have deep conversations about the Bible and God with numerous of those friends and we are just so thankful for our church family and all the memories we have already made with them. Years ago we never would have imagined that God would lead us to Orillia to church but I am so happy that He opened the door and that He had plans for the Gosselin family at Redeemer City Campus. 

Reflecting Back

A couple months ago I was driving downtown in an area that is not the nicest of the city I live in. As I drove down the road and saw the construction in front of me I also noticed a woman walking down the road and it was very obvious she was someone who used her body to get money. I couldn’t help but look at this woman and see her dark sunglasses that were on her almost as if trying to hide the person underneath. She had a huge wig on and everything about her just seemed like it was this mask and not really who she was. As I got closer I realized this woman that I had been watching was once my roommate.

Years ago when I left the church after being incredibly hurt I moved in with some people that were not in the healthiest place. Two of the women I shared a house with used their body to get money and I very quickly learned what their job really made them do and all that went on in that industry. It was sad but what made me even sadder was when I heard the background of these women’s life story. Both had very sad situations happen in their lives and they kinda gave up and got into things that were not good and ended up needing money and found the industry they were in an easy way to be able to pay their bills. The truth is while I lived life away from God and lived with my two friends I got to know their bosses and I too was offered a job if I wanted it. I thought about it but something about all I had learnt as a child and growing up kept me from making the decision to go that route. I am so thankful that God saved me and that even back then I made the decision to step away and not get involved in what my roommates were doing.

Watching my old roommate walking down the road made me so sad! To see this woman I knew and lived with and see she was still hurting and living the life she probably never grew up wanting made my heart ache for her. On September third it will have been ten years since God opened my eyes and made me realize truth and changed my life completely. Sadly it would appear it’s been ten years that my old friend has continued to be in a horrible industry and probably has continued to experience more hurt in her life. How I wished I had realized it was her sooner and I could have stopped to talk to her. I have driven down that road many times now and every time I am there I drive very slowly looking very closely at everyone around trying to look out for her but…I haven’t found her. I really hope that one day I can run into her again and can share about God and his salvation and how He has changed my life and how He can change hers.

It still amazes me where I am today. Lately the song that has really hit me is “Creation Calls” by Brian Doerksen. One line this song says in the verse is “A newborns cry at birth”; man how that hits me now. I know I was amazed by what God creates when Joziah was born but I don’t know this time with Westyn my whole birthing experience was different and just to hear my baby’s first cry, to hold that little precious baby with wrinkly skin in my arms and to stare at his little details just really hit me again in a new way. It was so amazing when the midwife examined and showed us all these little things about Westyn’s body making sure he was healthy. It made me be in awe and I still get teary eyed thinking about it.

Westyn

That’s why this song has been on my mind lately. How could I have ever been in a place where I believed there was no God, where I believed that everything my parents told me and taught me was a lie? I was so hurt and betrayed I blamed it on God. I can remember the absolute sick feeling I felt when others would talk about God around me or would pray around me and how I would want them to just stop talking and praying to God. How blinded was I by Satan to not see that everything around me is spectacularly made by God?

I have been praying for my old roommate and will continue to. I hope one day she too will experience life in a whole new way and she will know what it is like to have her eyes opened up and she’ll be able to understand what Gods love is all about. May she one day be changed and look at life differently. May she want to please God in every area of her life and may she too hear the words to this song and sing,

“How could I say there is no God?
When all around creation calls!!
A singing bird, a mighty tree,
The vast expanse of open sea”

Life In My Belly

In my belly there is life. If I were to lie down and put a video camera on it you would see the life that is inside of me moving around. Every day I can now feel the kicks, somersaults and other actions the baby is doing inside of me. I receive weekly emails on how Travis and my baby is developing and today I read how our baby is now the size of a pineapple. I also read that the baby is going through major brain and nerve development, that the baby’s irises now react to light and all five senses are in working order.

Right now it is hard to not think about all we went through with Joziah when I was pregnant and it’s hard to remember all the things that the doctors told us. More than anything it is so hard to think that it was exactly at this stage in my pregnancy last time that Travis and I were asked if we wanted to “get rid of” Joziah. There have been times I have been saddened and have felt sick to my stomach when people have asked us why we named our baby Joziah and we tell them the full story. Not because of what we went through but because more than once when we finish telling our story others have said to us “We had the same thing happen to us and they asked us if we wanted to get rid of our baby too”, or “we know someone that happened to as well.” “Getting rid of Joziah” was NEVER an option for Travis and I. Sure we were uncertain of the future and what might happen once Joziah arrived but we knew no matter what we were keeping our baby and made it clear to the doctors that we did not believe in abortion. It does makes me realize how many times this must be said to parents expecting and how some parents who may not have the same beliefs as us choose not to keep their baby because they are too scared to think of what their future would be like.

Mine and Travis eyes have been opened though. I am thankful that I now am more aware of what happens and that I know the truth and know that abortion can be offered even when you are in your last trimester. It’s so sad and so many think that this doesn’t/can’t happen, but it does. If it doesn’t then why were we asked that horrible question at more than one appointment? :S

I am so thankful to God that this pregnancy has been so easy and we have not had to worry about the health of this baby or had to have multiple doctor visits and trips to another city. What a difference that has been but…I will not forget what we went through and I will be open about it so that others know the truth too.

Endometriosis and Adenomyosis

In 2008 I was diagnosed with endometriosis. After years of having strong stomach pain, feeling nauseous and realizing that I was becoming more and more allergic to certain foods I decided to go down to a clinic in the city and have tests done for a week to figure out what was going on with my body. Endometriosis is defined as, “an often painful disorder in which tissue that normally lines the inside of your uterus — the endometrium — grows outside your uterus (endometrial implant)”. I was told at the clinic that because I seemed to have a bad case of it there was a very high chance that I may not be able to have children.

After Travis and I got married and we decided we wanted to try to have children we consulted with a naturopath. The naturopath also told me that there was a high chance I wouldn’t be able to have children and if I did it could take a long time to actually get pregnant. Travis and I knew this and we prayed and asked a couple of friends and family to pray for us. Even after all we were told about maybe never being able to have children we trusted that we could and well it turned out we had no issues getting pregnant and 9 months later Joziah was born. We were so grateful!!

Pregnancy was great for my endometriosis but shortly after Joziah arrived the pains and everything that goes along with endometriosis came back. It seemed to have gotten a lot better but it was still there. I continued to be allergic to food and lost weight fast because some food just didn’t sit well with my system. People just assume that I work out or that I don’t eat a lot because of my weight and yes I may be tall and have a lean figure but the truth is I stay the way I am because of my health issues. To be honest when people first started to make comments about how skinny I was or how I continued to lose weight it didn’t really bug me but after years of hearing it I started to get annoyed. I started thinking, “you have no idea what I go through each day and why I am this way.” It made me sad for those who work out and eat little to stay the way they are because they would look at me and think I was athletic but the truth is they probably work out more than I do and are healthier than I am. All I have been through has made me realize that you can never look at someone and think wow they have a great body or they must really work out because….you just don’t know what their story might be.

After Joziah was born I started to have other pains that I had never had. I thought it was normal to have them after you had a baby but after Joziah turned a year old and I continued to have them I decided to tell my doctor about it and see what she said. Turns out she thought I had now developed adnemyosis which is endometriosis inside of your uterus. It causes severe pain and pressure too. After some tests we realized that my doctor was right and adnemyosis…a word I had never heard of was in fact what I had.

August 27th, 2014 is a day I will never forget. I was on my way to an appointment to try to find out what we could do about my adnemyosis. As I got on the elevator a lady got on with me and I saw her looking at my body. She said, “So tell me what is your secret to having such a flat tummy?” I decided to be honest with her and politely I said, “Well I have endometriosis which makes me allergic to some foods and it’s hard to always keep my food in. It causes me to lose weight. That’s my secret.” She looked shocked and I think I surprised myself with how honest I was. She said, “I am so sorry!” realizing life must not always be fun for me. I got off the elevator feeling good about having been honest and maybe having made someone realize it doesn’t mean you are healthy just because you have a flat tummy. I went into my appointment to find out what we could do about my new diagnosis but as I was there the nurse started asking me questions and well the next thing you know I was taking a pregnancy test and she confirmed that I was definitely pregnant. I was in shock. I could not believe the news. The nurse kept asking me questions and I was so confused by everything she was asking me because I was in shock. I finally said to her, “I am sorry I can’t concentrate, I am so flustered.” The nurse laughed at me and when the doctor came in she said, “Well I hear congratulations are in order,” and laughed as well. The doctor proceeded to tell me that there was nothing they could do for me at that appointment because I was pregnant.

At our wedding our blessing had these words, “May the Lord bless you with children who will truly be used as arrows for the Lord, as you impact this world with God’s masterpiece: the family.” How I prayed that these words would be true one day and we would be blessed with little ones. God blessed us with one incredible little boy and we are so thankful for this new blessing that is growing inside of me now. Travis and I are so excited to know that there soon will be a new baby in our house and that our family is continuing to grow.

Life Since Joziah

As I sit here listening to “Glorious” by Paul Baloche and hold my baby as he sleeps in my arms I realize just how glorious my Saviour really is.

I am blessed to be holding my precious, precious baby, I can smell his unique beautiful baby smell as I softly kiss his neck and cuddle him. What an amazing blessing Joziah has been and oh how he continues to make Trav and I laugh. He is still such an extremely happy baby and everyone who meets him says the same thing, “He is so content.” 🙂 He is growing every day and so every day there are new “firsts” for him. He loves to try to talk to you and answers “yep” while shaking his head up and down or shakes his head back and forth to say “no”. Proudly I can say his first word was “mama”. The last couple days that is how I have woken up in the morning, to a little voice over the monitor calling ‘mama?’. He is a great sleeper and has decided he likes to go to bed earlier and sleep in later so you can imagine I am quite ok with that. Travis (who Joziah calls baba) continues to be such an amazing dad. I didn’t think it would happen so early in Joziah’s life but Joziah gets upset and already dislikes when his dad has to go to work but gets the biggest smile and runs to hug his dad when he returns home from work. I couldn’t have asked for a better father for my child. Travis loves Joziah so much and always is playing with him, having tickle fights with him, reading books with him and cuddling him. Oh how Travis loves cuddling his baby boy! Reading books continues to be one of Joziah’s favourite things to do. We started reading to him when he was two months old and realized how much he enjoyed it and so we have a stack of books that he loves reading from every day. Music would be another favourite, whenever he hears music he listens tentatively and one song that we would say is his favourite as he always stops what he is doing to hear it is “10000 Reasons” by Matt Redman.

After a year of being on maternity leave Trav and I decided that I would not return to full time ministry right now. We realize every day how important it is for me to be home with Joziah and Travis has been blessed with a job where I am able to do that. Throughout the year I have continued to meet girls off and on when I have had time and so Trav and I decided I would continue to do this and if God opens up the doors for speaking opportunities then I will continue to do that, however, my time with Into All the World is done so I can do things around mine and our schedules.

It is amazing how God continues to open doors. In October I spoke at a Women Alive conference, in December I spoke at a Women’s Christmas brunch and I have already been asked to speak twice in 2014. Why God continues to use my story still boggles me, but I am thankful that He uses my life and all I have been through for His glory. I continue to have people thank me for sharing my story and they tell me how powerful it is, which encourages me to never stop sharing it. I also continue to have doors open to helping others dealing with hopelessness in their lives. I will not stop sharing as long as God continues to open the doors. If this is what He wants for my life how can I say no?

I look forward to 2014 and everything God already has planned for my life but also for the life of my loving husband Travis and our sweet baby boy Joziah.

Our Little Baby Boy

On October 24th Joziah Enrique David Gosselin was born weighing 8 lbs and 8 oz.  He is such a precious little guy who makes us laugh so much because he already has quite the little personality; he is also such a good baby. I couldn’t have asked for a better baby as he sleeps tons and only wakes up once or twice a night. He has lots of dark hair and dark eyes and is definitely a mix of Travis and I.

Physically I had a really good pregnancy. I had some nausea at the beginning and was extremely tired but after the first three months I felt great and felt like I had a lot of energy. Emotionally, however, it was a different story and Travis and I went through a lot of different emotions and at times felt like we were on an emotional rollercoaster.

At around three months I had a scare with the baby. It was horrible sitting in the ER waiting to find out if the baby was okay. It is one thing when you go into the ER for your health and you can tell if you are feeling worse or getting better, but it is another thing to have no idea what is going on inside of you. As I lay waiting for results and for the doctor to come in and tell us what was going on I remember praying to God and thinking that I would go through any pain just to make sure that my baby was okay. It was such a relief when we had an ultrasound and saw the baby moving. We were told baby seemed good, however, we needed to have a thorough ultrasound to make sure that everything was good
and that baby was healthy.

That same week I went and had a thorough ultrasound. Travis was present at the ultrasound and we found out we were having a baby boy. I can still see Travis massive smile when he realized he was going to have a son. We were so excited and thought everything seemed good until we went to the doctor that week and were told that they had found a spot on our baby’s liver and his heart. The thing was they didn’t know what this meant. I was told to not worry about the spot on the baby’s heart, but was told we were being sent to a hospital in Toronto to figure out what the spot on his liver was. A couple weeks later Travis and I went to Toronto. It was horrible lying on the bed in the hospital, getting an ultrasound done while hearing a couple doctors talk about my baby as if I wasn’t in the room.

Travis and I decided at the beginning of my pregnancy that we wanted to have the genetic testing done. We decided that we wanted to be prepared if our baby did have any illness or was going to need some extra care. Our tests had all come back negative, but when we were in Toronto the doctor told us that the tests could be wrong and that our baby could have problems. Also, he told us that our baby had a calcification on his liver and two on his lungs. The weird thing was they still couldn’t tell us what this meant. They weren’t worried about the baby’s health at the time, but were more worried what might happen once baby came. They also seemed to be really concerned about the lung spots and wanted to keep an eye on it. Even though I was over four months pregnant the doctor asked Travis and I if we were sure we wanted to keep the baby. I can still remember how shocked and sickened I was when I heard this. How could they even offer us that option? Travis said firmly that even if our baby had health issues we were keeping him. We ended up having to go to the hospital in Toronto a couple of
times and each time I had to get more tests done and we were told they still didn’t know what was going on with our baby. Each time we went we were again asked if we were sure we wanted to keep the baby. :S

It was a really hard time for Travis and I and yet I saw how perfect we were for each other through all this. At our wedding the song “When God Made You” was sung and I thought of those words so much through all of this because it was so true in our situation. “I wonder what God was thinking when He created you. I wonder if He knew everything I would need because He made all my dreams come true. When God made you He must have been thinking about me.” God knew I would need a husband like Travis. When I was down and couldn’t stop crying from the bad news we were hearing Travis was my strength making me realize we needed to continue to have faith and trust in God to heal our baby. He constantly reminded me that in the end it didn’t matter what doctors said…God could heal our baby. Also, there were times that Travis was
down and hurting and I was somehow able to be strong for him and help him think positively. It was just neat how God made one of us strong when the other was weak.

We decided to not share what was happening publicly with everyone and only shared with some friends and our families who were amazing prayer warriors and encouraged us incredibly. They were so positive the whole time and it really helped us to continue to be strong and continue to have faith that God could make these “spots” go away.

I decided to sing “Still” by Hillsong to my baby every day. I changed the words a bit and sang “Hide him now under your wing; cover him within your mighty hand.” I totally believed God had his hand on my baby and was looking after him. I spent time praying to God that He would heal my baby and Travis and I prayed the same thing together. I found Psalm 28:7 “My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song” and believed that everything would be fine and that my baby boy would be born with no problems. It was a verse I held onto when I felt like I was losing faith.

One month before I gave birth I had another ultrasound, but this time we didn’t have to go to Toronto. Though the technicians aren’t really supposed to tell you what is going on during the ultrasound my technician asked me what exactly had gone on and what exactly she should be looking for. I told her our whole experience and she did the ultrasound, but then got her supervisor to come in and look too. I could hear them talking. They said that the liver calcification was a lot smaller and the lung calcifications….they couldn’t find. They kept trying to look for them and finally the supervisor said, “Hmmm they must have evaporated. They aren’t there anymore.”

I could have cried right at that moment. I knew they had not just evaporated but that God had answered our prayers and had healed our little guy. Yes there was a liver spot still, but it had gotten smaller and the doctors didn’t seem as concerned about that one.

As you all know our baby was born and is a healthy little boy. At the hospital he had to have x-rays and an ultrasound but everything came out great. The neo natal doctor said that he still has a liver calcification, however, he said it could be like a birth mark on him that he always has and is not concerned about it at all. He said we could continue to do tests on him but he didn’t think we needed to when he looked so healthy and did all the things newborns should. The neo natal doctor had also told us that once the baby was born we would probably have to do chromosome testing but once he saw our baby he said he didn’t see any reason to do that. We are so excited and we are so thankful to God that
there were no complications when our baby was born. Our baby is a blessing and even though he is not even a month old he has a story to share of how God healed his little body and so that is why Travis and I decided to call him Joziah which is a Hebrew name and means the Lord has healed! God has done big things in his life already and we are excited to see what God continues to do
in his life. 🙂

Joziah Enrique David Gosselin

 

Summer 2012 and the Next Chapter of My Life

I hope that summer 2012 was a great one for you and that you all were able to cherish moments spent with family and friends.

 

Travis and I had a very busy summer visiting with family, going to friends’ weddings and with work. Also a very special thing happened on August 30th when my sister Yolanda gave birth to a beautiful girl named Kiara. 😀 She is such a sweet and content little thing and it has been so much fun being able to cuddle her.

Kiara Raizel De La Riva

Though things slowed down a bit for me in the summer there were still girls who wanted to meet and who were going through really hard times. In one situation I had to intervene and get a girl I meet with medical help so she could fight a very bad eating disorder she is going through. It was hard to watch someone lose so much weight in such a short period of time and to know that others had no clue how she was really losing all this weight. Recently I read an article of why you should not praise someone for losing weight. This is part of the article.

 

Sometimes — and perhaps more often than we realize — weight loss indicates an eating disorder and/or an unhealthy body image. Complimenting someone whose weight loss results from one of these diseases only adds fuel to the fire. According to the National Eating Disorders Association, ten million women and one million men are living with anorexia and/or bulimia. And it is likely that millions more are living with one of these disorders in secret, since illnesses related to food, especially bulimia, lend themselves to very secretive behavior. So when we actively and publicly praise someone for his or her weight loss (especially young women/girls), are we praising someone for a healthy and balanced approach to living or someone who is facing a critical, mental health crisis? Are we mistakenly encouraging someone to continue a process that has allowed them to lose weight, a process that will, if gone unchecked, lead to their death?”

 

I totally get it because I have seen this first hand.  As the article also points out usually people do it with the best of intentions but it’s true we need to be careful in what we say. I would really appreciate it if you pray for this specific girl and pray that she will continue to want the professional help she is getting.

 

Speaking opportunities have also continued to come up. Recently I was contacted by someone who heard me speak at MissionFest and wanted me to speak in Toronto this fall at a women’s conference. It is a great opportunity however I wanted to let you all know that as of September 25th I will be going on maternity leave for a year. I plan to continue to meet girls when I can but I know life will be very different once our baby arrives. I will not be able to be as flexible in meeting girls and instead of me picking them up from school or their home they will have to come to my place more. Life will be different and I do realize that. I am sure it will be hard at times for me to put boundaries in place but at the same time I am so excited to meet my little baby and for this next chapter of mine and Travis’ life.

 

Please pray for me this month as I finish things up before I go on maternity leave. Also I would ask you to pray for my last month and a half left of pregnancy. 🙂 It is crazy to think I only have a short time left and soon will have that precious baby that has been wiggling inside of me and kicking me in my arms. I know many of you will be curious to hear about the baby so I do promise to send you an update with pictures as soon as I can.

 

Thank you once again to all who have supported me either financially or through prayer. It means so much to me that you have believed in me and what I am doing! Please continue to update me on your lives while I am on maternity leave and let me know if there is anything I can pray for.

 

Much love to you all!!!!

MissionFest 2012

Last month I had the honour of speaking in Toronto at MissionFest 2012. The theme of the session I spoke at was “Ordinary women – Extraordinary call”. I was asked to share my testimony, how I got involved with “Into All the World” and what I do now with this organization. It was so neat to see God work even before I got up to speak.  I had the privilege of meeting and sharing the session with Susan Finlay, the Founder and National Director of Nation at Prayer. She is such a sweet lady and it was so neat to see how we were on the same page when it came to how we would end the session together. It was also neat to see how God planned for everything to come together. Susan and I had never shared with the worship band what we were going to say when we spoke and yet the words the worship band sang related to what I shared in my message and what Susan shared in hers.

God has definitely worked on my fear of speaking and I had peace when I went up on stage. After the session was over I had many moms and ladies come up to talk to me. It was amazing to have moms share with me what was going on with their daughters and yet it made me sad because I realized how many girls are hurting and how many girls Satan is lying to making them feel worthless. It was hard to hear some of the stories and it is sad to see moms in so much pain, feeling helpless. As some of the moms shared their stories with me I realized that God had me share what I shared for a reason. I love how He does that! One lady who came to talk to me shared how she wanted to do mission work, but really felt like she had done so much in her past that she wasn’t worthy of going on a mission trip. She came to me with tears in her eyes and shared with me how what I shared made her realize that this was a lie and that she was worthy and she was going to go on a mission trip and try to help others. Those kinds of stories bring a smile to my face because I am glad that God can use my story to make others fulfill the call He has placed on their lives.

I have continued to be in touch with some of the ladies who came to speak with me after the session. Speaking at MissionFest connected me to girls that needed help and I continue to receive emails from moms who heard about me and want me to help their daughters.

I am so thankful for my time at MissionFest! Thankful for the people that I got to meet and thankful that God used me and continues to use me to reach out to others. Wisdom is one of the things I need as I continue to meet with girls and deal with some very tough situations that they are facing. This past month has been a month where I have had to intervene in some of these situations so please pray for continued wisdom for me.  Also please continue to pray for the girls I meet with and that they would be freed from their distorted thinking.

A New Life

Lately there have been two things that the Bible says that have really been going through my mind. The first one comes from Jeremiah 1:5 “I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Before you were born I set you apart.” To me it is amazing to think that before any baby is even formed God has already thought about them and knows them. As Psalm 139:13-16 says God knows all the delicate, inner parts of each baby and He watches them. I have just been in awe lately at these verses.

Also the other thing that has been running through my head is “you of little faith.” This is actually mentioned a couple of times in the Bible. A few places it is mentioned are when God is telling us not to worry about our everyday life; when Jesus calms the storm and when Jesus walks on water.

So why have these things been running through my head? Last fall Travis and I were told once again that when the time came to try to have a family I might not be able to get pregnant. As many of you know I have suffered from endometriosis for many years and since I seem to have a severe case of it there was the possibility that I might never have children.  It was sad to hear but Travis and I continued to pray that when the time came God would bless us with a little baby. Travis and I did talk about the possibility of adoption and also talked about how God’s plans are not always our plans and we needed to trust God for whatever He wanted for our lives. I got great encouragement from those close to me and I knew that in the end it doesn’t matter what doctors and other health professionals say because with God all things are possible and I just believed that one day we would be blessed with a baby. I hung onto something that was said to us in our blessing on our wedding day that I read every day, “May the Lord bless you with children who will truly be used as arrows for the Lord, as you impact this world with God’s masterpiece design: the family.” Though I believed this I really didn’t believe that a baby could happen right away and thought that it might take a while for Travis and I to have a family.

Well that is where I was wrong and that is where “you of little faith” comes in for me. That is probably what God would say to me and I realize I need to trust Him so much more. God is great and once again God has completely surprised me. Though it has been hard to keep this secret I am so super excited to announce to you all that Travis and I are having a little baby. 😀 We were so surprised when I found out I was pregnant. It didn’t seem real. All that kept going through my head was the words to the song “What Can I Do” by Paul Baloche.

“What can I do but thank You,

What can I do but give my life to You

Hallelujah, hallelujah

What can I do but praise You,

Everyday make everything I do a hallelujah

A hallelujah, hallelujah”

Travis and I are both so thankful to God for this blessing and we are excited and a little nervous 😛 as we think about  how our lives will change. I think of how much I already love this little human being that is growing inside of me. Though I have no idea what my baby looks like, what my baby’s eye or hair colour is, or what its personality will be like I already care for him/her so much. Then it just amazes me because I realize that God cares for it and loves it so much more than I ever could. Right now they are saying that our baby is due in October but we will not know for sure until we go for an ultra sound on April 18th. I have definitely experienced all the “lovely” things that make you realize that a baby is on its way including being up at night for hours, nausea and feeling extremely tired. LOL I can definitely say I have never experienced anything like this before, but when I think of what will happen in six months I realize it is all worth it. I just can’t fully express how happy and blessed I feel.

Please pray for Travis and I as we get ready for our little bundle! Pray for us as parents that we would be wise in the decisions we make and also please pray for the health of our little baby as it continues to develop and grow.

Starting 2012…

Is it really February??? I can’t believe we are already in 2012 and that it is February. I remember when I was younger someone told me that as you get older the years seem to fly by faster and I am realizing how true that is.

Travis and I had an awesome Christmas and New Years as we celebrated with family in Ecuador. It was so neat to be able to show Travis around and get to experience new adventures together. It was also really neat for me to be able to introduce Travis to my Ecuadorian family that he had never met including my Grandma Vasquez.

Since we have been back it has been busy. We right away started looking for a home that we could call our own and after two weekends of looking God blessed us with a beautiful home that we will get on February 24th. We are so excited, though it will be sad for me to leave the apartment we had for our first year of marriage. I know there will be many memories made in our new place. Today someone wrote me this about our house. “May God fill it with children for you and Trav to pour into and raise as arrows for the Lord, may the rooms be filled with love and peace that will spill over onto all who come through the door. May the Word of God be read, studied, shared as encouragement and lead many to the saving Love of Christ and a life filled with the leading presence of the Holy Spirit!” Isn’t that beautiful? That is just what we want our home to be. Travis and I had talked about wanting to get a house where we could hold studies and have people over to encourage them as we learn too and I know that our home will be that. God has placed Travis and I together for a reason and I am excited to see what He continues to do in our lives.

A lot has changed since the last time I wrote. Not enough funds were coming in to continue to work full time with Into All the World so I have taken on another part time job looking after some kids. I continue to meet with girls and more opportunities to speak continue to open up. I have learnt recently that just because I am asked to speak doesn’t mean that is where God wants me. With every opportunity that comes up I need to go to Him first and see what He says I should do. I was recently asked to be interviewed on TV. After praying about it I knew that right now was not the right timing. In April I will be speaking in Toronto at MissionFest. It is pretty crazy to see yourself on a poster of an event you have heard so much about. I was honoured to be asked to speak and I hope that I get a chance to see the other speakers that will be sharing their stories and their lives as missionaries. Please pray for this weekend and for all the people that will be attending.

I also have two more speaking opportunities that have come up for 2012 and I still find it kind of crazy to think that God is still using me to speak. I have been reminded over and over again of two verses in 2 Corinthians. “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness” and “that is why I take pleasure in my weaknesses and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak then I am strong.” It is Him who has brought me to where I am today and He is the one who deserves to receive all glory every time I speak. I may feel weak in my body and feel that I am not strong enough sometimes but His power is something we don’t understand and we will never understand until that day we see Him face to face. In my weaknesses and in yours….He is the one who is right there beside us to give us that immense strength we need to do what He has called us to do.

I was reminded of the picture named “Forgiven”.

Though it is about sin and God’s forgiveness it also reminds me of when we have hurt in our lives. When we feel down from things going on in our lives and we feel like we can’t even get up, God is right there holding onto us and picking us up and being that strength that we need to keep going. May you all remember that no matter what situation you are in God is right there lifting you and that as hard as your situation may seem God does have a plan for your life. He feels your hurt and will not leave you alone. He will be your strength and everything you need!