Tomorrow is Canadian Thanksgiving and so today at church we sang “Amazing Grace” to give thanks to God for saving us. What really hit me today in the song was this line ” How precious did that grace appear the hour I first believed.”

Isn’t it crazy and so true? I think of my life and think how I walked away from God for awhile and how I lived years not wanting to have anything to do with him and then as soon as I realized the truth and asked God to forgive me he forgave me instantly. God did not sit there and think. “hmm let me think can I forgive her for all she has done? Has she done too much to not be forgiven? Is there a reason I shouldn’t forgive her?” No my God died for me on the cross. He paid for my sins when he went through unimaginable pain and shed his blood on the cross. He knew before I did that I would turn from Him but….He was always there waiting for me to come back to Him. So in that moment in that “hour I first believed” he forgave me right then and there. He didn’t care what I had done in the past and in that instant I was made new. He extended that amazing grace to me and I was made white as snow.

“Amazing grace how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me I once was lost but now am found was blind but now I see. My chains are gone I’ve been set free my God, my Savior has ransomed me and like a flood His mercy reigns unending love, amazing grace”  CHRIS TOMLIN

Saturday night Travis and I had the chance to go and see Casting Crowns. We actually weren’t planning on it but the night before the concert we were given the tickets. 🙂 You would think after seeing them perform three times that I would be tired of their songs and their concerts but I don’t know if I could ever get tired of them. 😛

First off there is nothing like listening live to the song live that God used to change my life forever. I always feel Jesus touch when I hear “Voice of Truth”. 🙂 Travis and I were also really touched by a couple of their songs individually but we were also both touched by one song that made us look at our lives and make some changes this past weekend.

Now I have to go back to three weeks ago when my mentor came over and we talked about life as we usually do and I shared with her things that I had seen going on within the Christian circle. I was open and shared with her how I was tired of seeing Christians act a certain way and was tired of hearing Christians talk a certain way when we are supposed to be different from the world and we are supposed to be the light that draws people in. Ephesisans 5:8 says “For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light.”

So why for instance is there so much sexual joking going on within the Christian community? In the New International Version Ephesians 5:4 says “Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving.” If you look it up in the Message Bible it says, “Don’t talk dirty or silly. That kind of talk doesn’t fit our style. Thanksgiving is our dialect.” Do those verses not apply the same as any other verse in the Bible? Of course they do!

Then this past Saturday when Travis and I were at the concert they sang the song “Slow Fade”. I have always liked that song but it all of a sudden hit me in a different way as I really listened closely to the words.

“It’s a slow fade when you give yourself away. It’s a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray. Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid when you give yourself away. People never crumble in a day. It’s a slow fade, it’s a slow fade.”

From my past I know far too well how it is a “slow fade” and before you know it you can be in a sin that you never thought you would be in. I know from my past that we do have to stand strong and be careful with what we are taking in and what we are doing in our lives that could bring us down. For example we can watch certain shows, and listen to non-Christian songs and before you know it you are taking in all this garbage that is actually bringing you down. We can become desensitized to what we watch and listen to so easily. 

So as I was listening to this song I had to look at my own life and think of the verse in Matthew 7: 3 “ Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye, when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”  It is easy for me to say “I am tired of seeing or hearing….” but what am I doing in my life to be different too? What things can I change in my life to not become that way and to live my life fully for God? I don’t want to become one of those people that just becomes okay with things that are going on around me and I definitely don’t want to become one of those people that starts doing what others are doing because they think it is okay. I want to stand out and I want to be different because that is what I believe God calls us to do.

On the way home from the concert I shared with Travis what I had felt and he totally agreed with me. One thing we knew we should think about was the shows we watch. Right there we listed different TV shows that we normally watch together and decided there are just certain shows we will not watch anymore. We analyzed them and decided if they were healthy for us or not and then if we realized they weren’t we agreed that we would not watch them anymore.

We have had a great month of marriage and we want to do everything to keep that going. We want to be strong as individuals but we want to be strong in our marriage too. We don’t want “black and white to turn to grey” and we want to continue to be examples to those around us.

I love it when God speaks to me! On Friday at youth the Youth Pastor challenged the youth to write peoples names down and pray for them to have more passion, hope, light and to know that God is the truth and the way. The youth leaders did the list as well and when it came to passion I prayed for others but I also prayed for Travis and I because I never want to stop pursuing to have more passion for Christ and now that I am married I want Travis and I as a couple to learn together and continue to want that passion together. I know there is so much more that we have to learn but I am thankful that the day after I prayed for more passion for Travis and I…that God answered my prayers.

Travis right now lives in a really cute one bedroom apartment. It has a kitchen, bathroom and everything you would need in a place, but the apartment is just a little too small for two people to live in.

Our friends have been living in a beautiful two bedroom apartment for over 10 years. This has been a place that I have gone and stayed at when they needed someone to house and dog sit for them. It has also been a place where I found safety when I went through a really hard time of my life.  Not only that, but my Great Grandpa and after he passed away, my Great Uncle lived behind this place and so it is a neighborhood I know really well.

This year our friends found a house that they fell in love with and so they decided to buy it. They knew that we were looking around for a bigger place and they knew it would be nice for us to have more room, so they told us to contact the landlord and let him know that we were interested.  We did contact the landlord and sat down with him a couple times and discussed things.

In the end it turned out the landlord liked us and trusted us and offered us the place. Of course it helped that our friends highly recommended us.  The landlord gave us an amazing deal that we know we would not get anywhere else and he has been so flexible at understanding our situation of having to wait till Travis’ lease is over.

The two things we knew we would have to get if we moved there were a washer and a dryer because the place did not come with them. We knew we would have to get stackable ones too because that is all that would fit in the laundry room in the new apartment. Travis looked at some in Sears and priced them. We knew it would be expensive, but we also knew it was something we had to get right away.

Then the new landlord called and shared with us that he knew a couple that were renovating their place and were getting rid of their stackable washer and dryer. They were looking to give them away to someone to bless them and heard about us and wanted to know if we wanted them. 

We went and looked at them and realized they were still in good shape, so we decided to take them. We were shocked! We couldn’t believe they did not want any money when the washer and dryer were still in good shape. We knew we were being blessed.

It is so awesome how good God has been to Travis and I! Not only is this place going to be perfect for us, but it is nice and open and so we will be able to have people over. We have thought about maybe holding a study there instead of at the church we go too, but we shall see what God has planned. The sweet thing is if we want to do that we do have lots of room to have that option. As I said before God is good!!!

Though this letter is not about what has been going on in my ministry I wanted to share this with you and show you all how God has been blessing Travis and I. The blessings have been incredible and I know that so much more is in store.

I’ll leave you all with a verse that I believe reflects what has been happening in my life lately. It comes from The Message Bible. 

“Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.” Romans 8:26-28

Last week my Mom was on her way back from taking my Dad to the airport when she was involved in a horrible accident.

We are not sure what exactly happened. Mom says she was feeling very tired but we also think that she blacked out. She doesn’t seem to remember the accident at all until she woke up in the ditch. However, witnesses say she went across into the other lane and hit a transport truck. Witnesses also said it looked like she was trying to go under the truck and somehow she managed to blow out three tires along the side of the truck. She ended up in a ditch and the van is totalled. Everyone that saw the accident and the van said they are so surprised Mom is living. Even when we went to go get things out of the van, the tow man said he still couldn’t believe she was living.

I got the call that she had been in an accident last Thursday afternoon. When I got to the accident and saw the car I realized how bad it was. I am sure my face was white when I saw the car and realized she could have died in the accident. The cop even asked me if I was ok because of how shocked I was. It was so hard to see Mom shaken up and bleeding all over but…I was so glad it was not any worse and that God had protected her. We all know it is a complete miracle that she is still here!

Travis left work and came and met us at the scene and then we went to the hospital with Mom. They did x-rays on her and we thank God that her hip is still in place and the accident did not affect that at all. They flushed out her ear to get all the glass out and she did break a bone in her foot, but other then that she is fine. 🙂

When I got a hold of Dad, who was on his way to Brazil, he told me he was changing his plans and would be on his way home. When he arrived home he just held Mom and cried. He knows home is where he needs to be right now and will be here until next week sometime to help with everything they need to deal with.

I thank God that no one else was badly injured. I believe God protected those that were around her too. We know the transport truck driver went to the hospital but we have not heard anymore about it so we are believing that he had no major injuries. Another car was hit with the debris but no one was hurt.

It is hard to think that Mom was sleeping through the whole accident. If you saw where the accident started to where it ended, and if you heard what they said actually happened, there is no way that Mom could have been sleeping for that long and that the impact and noise couldn’t have woken her up. Maybe it was the pills that she has been taking for her hip. We are not really sure but today she has an appointment to see her doctor to see if there is anything we should be concerned about.

We know she is blessed to be alive and Mom definitely knows it was the hand of God that protected her and it is because of Him that she is here today. She may be walking in an air boot, she may have scrapes and bruises on her but she is alive and doing well. 🙂

My whole family praises God for this!

The cross means love to me. It shows me there is someone who pursues me and loves me in a way that no one ever has or ever could. It shows me that there was someone who loved me so much they chose to come down to this earth and surrender their life for me. This is a love that makes me feel complete. 

The cross means grace to me. It shows me that no matter what I have done in my life it is the past and I am now brand new. The chains that were on me before are gone and I can have joy in my life because I am now completely forgiven. 

The cross means hope to me. No matter what I may go through in my life I know I will always have a victorious outcome because the cross shows me there is someone who will never leave my side. Christ gave me hope when he shed his blood for me and now I can always have a light that keeps me going, no matter how hard life gets. 

I would not have been saved from the deep dark pit I was in if it were not for the cross and because of the love, grace and hope that I have now in my life, the cross means everything to me. The cross is so special to me and I am absolutely blessed by it. It is and always will be the greatest gift that I could ever receive for it assures me that I have ever lasting life and that one day I will stand beside my Jesus and live with him forever.

During the Christmas holidays I had a bit of a scare. Just before Christmas Travis got this tiny little blood blister on his back. Then one weekend it popped and we thought that was the end of it but then a mole appeared in the spot the blood blister was. The weeks following the mole got bigger and it started bleeding. I looked up on line what it meant if a mole started bleeding and it said we should go get it checked out right away so we did.

We went to a walk in clinic and the doctor said Travis was too young to have cancer and that he would give us a referral to a dermatologist and to just keep the mole bandaged. 

It kept bleeding off and on for a couple weeks but then over New Years this mole started growing every day and it started bleeding constantly. The little bandages that he had been putting on his back got too small and so he had to buy the biggest bandages that stores sold. His bleeding was so bad that it would constantly be going through his shirts and he would wake up with blood on his bed every morning. 

Then one day he called me and told me he was bleeding so much he had to go to the ER. I met him there and he got in pretty quickly. They checked it out and said that they could not cut it off because they wanted the dermatologist to see it and he would probably want to send it away. 

This news freaked me out. I had gotten a couple people to pray for him and his back. I knew that God was in control of Travis life and I was trying not to worry but it was so hard for me to not think of the worst and wonder if this mole meant something really bad. I hated seeing him bleed all the time and it hurt me to see him get frustrated when he would bleed through his shirts in public. 

The doctor at the ER told us to call the dermatologist office and ask if we could get in sooner. I had people praying that we would be able to get in right away and sure enough our prayers were answered and when Travis called they said he could go in the next day. 

We went to the appointment and it ended up being good news. Turns out Travis had a thing called Pyogenic Granuloma. They aren’t really sure how they develop but it is a skin growth. It was so nice to see colour come back to Travis face when the doctor told us what it was and as we walked out Travis said excitedly, “only one more day.” 🙂

The next day Travis was scheduled for a small surgery and he got it removed. I saw them take it off and scrape a bit of his skin to send it away for testing but we are believing it will all come back positive. 

I am thankful that God answered our prayers and the doors opened up for him to get it removed quickly. I am also so thankful that it ended up not being anything serious and that now that is something we do not have to worry about. 

My mentor made me realize something the other day when she wrote me this. “God’s timing on things is always so interesting, isn’t it?  You could have been in Africa when this happened or right before the wedding.” I realize this is so true! I would have been so concerned if I had been in Africa and didn’t really know what was going on and couldn’t be there for Travis and I know it would have been just another worry if it had happened before our wedding. Everything is God’s perfect timing!

A couple of years ago I was out walking in the snow with my brother and cousin. The air was very cool, but the sun was out and it was shinging bright so it just made everything look so beautiful.  I remember walking and all of a sudden looking up into the sky and seeing a huge colourful rainbow. It was so beautiful to me that I told my cousin and brother to look up at the sky. They did and they couldn’t see anything. I think they thought that I was imagining things, but I looked up again and sure enough I saw the rainbow. I  looked at them and realized that I had sunglasses on and they didn’t. I took my sunglasses off and realized that without them I couldn’t see anything. I told my brother and cousin to put their sunglasses on and when they did they saw the beautiful rainbow that I had seen. It was so weird to me to realize that if I had not had my sunglasses on then all three of us would have walked right past this beautiful creation of God.

It made me think, how many more things are there around us that we don’t even realize are there? God is everywhere and there is beauty all around us but sometimes we don’t see it. How much are we missing?

Then this weekend something happened that made me remember this story. A bunch of us were going to a hockey game and a friend brought their room mate that had just moved here from Australia. During our dinner we were talking about church and she all of a sudden asked us, “Do you guys go to church? Can I come to church with you?” To me it was amazing that she wanted to go and that she had to be the one to invite herself. It made me question how many “rainbows” are there all around us that we don’t even see. How many times are we meeting people who don’t have a personal relationship with God and yet we are missing the opportunities to share Christ and share the truth in their lives.

People are just like that beautiful rainbow and we need to make sure that we do not miss them as we continue with our every day lives.

CN Tower, Toronto

Saturday Travis took me for a surprise dinner. He ended up driving me to Toronto and we ended up having dinner at the CN Tower. The tower is 1,815 feet tall and near the top there is a revolving restaurant. It was such an amazing view from up there! You could look out and see the lake with all the boats and you could see so much of Toronto all around. It was awesome to see the sunset too. After a fantastic meal we went down to the next floor and walked around and that is when Travis said beautiful things to me and then got down on one knee and proposed to me. 🙂

It is so exciting to know I am getting married and I feel so blessed that God has truly blessed me with such a wonderful man who loves me so much more then I would have ever imagined. He really is wonderful to me! It is neat to hear comments from different people saying they knew that we were meant to be. Neat how God spoke to them and told them that Travis was the perfect man for me. God has fulfilled desires of my heart and… the ring? Well it is everything I dreamed of. Travis had no clue what I wanted and yet what I got is exactly what I had wanted. It is just so cool how God works!