Also the other thing that has been running through my head is “you of little faith.” This is actually mentioned a couple of times in the Bible. A few places it is mentioned are when God is telling us not to worry about our everyday life; when Jesus calms the storm and when Jesus walks on water.

So why have these things been running through my head? Last fall Travis and I were told once again that when the time came to try to have a family I might not be able to get pregnant. As many of you know I have suffered from endometriosis for many years and since I seem to have a severe case of it there was the possibility that I might never have children.  It was sad to hear but Travis and I continued to pray that when the time came God would bless us with a little baby. Travis and I did talk about the possibility of adoption and also talked about how God’s plans are not always our plans and we needed to trust God for whatever He wanted for our lives. I got great encouragement from those close to me and I knew that in the end it doesn’t matter what doctors and other health professionals say because with God all things are possible and I just believed that one day we would be blessed with a baby. I hung onto something that was said to us in our blessing on our wedding day that I read every day, “May the Lord bless you with children who will truly be used as arrows for the Lord, as you impact this world with God’s masterpiece design: the family.” Though I believed this I really didn’t believe that a baby could happen right away and thought that it might take a while for Travis and I to have a family.

Well that is where I was wrong and that is where “you of little faith” comes in for me. That is probably what God would say to me and I realize I need to trust Him so much more. God is great and once again God has completely surprised me. Though it has been hard to keep this secret I am so super excited to announce to you all that Travis and I are having a little baby. We were so surprised when I found out I was pregnant. It didn’t seem real. All that kept going through my head was the words to the song “What Can I Do” by Paul Baloche.

“What can I do but thank You,

What can I do but give my life to You

Hallelujah, hallelujah

What can I do but praise You,

Everyday make everything I do a hallelujah

A hallelujah, hallelujah”

Travis and I are both so thankful to God for this blessing and we are excited and a little nervous as we think about  how our lives will change. I think of how much I already love this little human being that is growing inside of me. Though I have no idea what my baby looks like, what my baby’s eye or hair colour is, or what its personality will be like I already care for him/her so much. Then it just amazes me because I realize that God cares for it and loves it so much more than I ever could. Right now they are saying that our baby is due in October but we will not know for sure until we go for an ultra sound on April 18^th. I have definitely experienced all the “lovely” things that make you realize that a baby is on its way including being up at night for hours, nausea and feeling extremely tired. LOL I can definitely say I have never experienced anything like this before, but when I think of what will happen in six months I realize it is all worth it. I just can’t fully express how happy and blessed I feel.

Please pray for Travis and I as we get ready for our little bundle! Pray for us as parents that we would be wise in the decisions we make and also please pray for the health of our little baby as it continues to develop and grow.

Is it really February??? I can’t believe we are already in 2012 and that it is February. I remember when I was younger someone told me that as you get older the years seem to fly by faster and I am realizing how true that is.

Travis and I had an awesome Christmas and New Years as we celebrated with family in Ecuador. It was so neat to be able to show Travis around and get to experience new adventures together. It was also really neat for me to be able to introduce Travis to my Ecuadorian family that he had never met including my Grandma Vasquez.

Since we have been back it has been busy. We right away started looking for a home that we could call our own and after two weekends of looking God blessed us with a beautiful home that we will get on February 24^th. We are so excited, though it will be sad for me to leave the apartment we had for our first year of marriage. I know there will be many memories made in our new place. Today someone wrote me this about our house. “May God fill it with children for you and Trav to pour into and raise as arrows for the Lord, may the rooms be filled with love and peace that will spill over onto all who come through the door. May the Word of God be read, studied, shared as encouragement and lead many to the saving Love of Christ and a life filled with the leading presence of the Holy Spirit!” Isn’t that beautiful? That is just what we want our home to be. Travis and I had talked about wanting to get a house where we could hold studies and have people over to encourage them as we learn too and I know that our home will be that. God has placed Travis and I together for a reason and I am excited to see what He continues to do in our lives.

A lot has changed since the last time I wrote. Not enough funds were coming in to continue to work full time with Into All the World so I have taken on another part time job looking after some kids. I continue to meet with girls and more opportunities to speak continue to open up. I have learnt recently that just because I am asked to speak doesn’t mean that is where God wants me. With every opportunity that comes up I need to go to Him first and see what He says I should do. I was recently asked to be interviewed on TV. After praying about it I knew that right now was not the right timing. In April I will be speaking in Toronto at MissionFest. It is pretty crazy to see yourself on a poster of an event you have heard so much about. I was honoured to be asked to speak and I hope that I get a chance to see the other speakers that will be sharing their stories and their lives as missionaries. Please pray for this weekend and for all the people that will be attending.

I also have two more speaking opportunities that have come up for 2012 and I still find it kind of crazy to think that God is still using me to speak. I have been reminded over and over again of two verses in 2 Corinthians. “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness” and “that is why I take pleasure in my weaknesses and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak then I am strong.” It is Him who has brought me to where I am today and He is the one who deserves to receive all glory every time I speak. I may feel weak in my body and feel that I am not strong enough sometimes but His power is something we don’t understand and we will never understand until that day we see Him face to face. In my weaknesses and in yours….He is the one who is right there beside us to give us that immense strength we need to do what He has called us to do.

I was reminded of the picture named “Forgiven”.

Though it is about sin and God’s forgiveness it also reminds me of when we have hurt in our lives. When we feel down from things going on in our lives and we feel like we can’t even get up, God is right there holding onto us and picking us up and being that strength that we need to keep going. May you all remember that no matter what situation you are in God is right there lifting you and that as hard as your situation may seem God does have a plan for your life. He feels your hurt and will not leave you alone. He will be your strength and everything you need!

Then yesterday afternoon we were at our cousin’s house and Travis had an accident. He slipped while on an ice rink and fell on a hook. He had a huge hole in his face when I saw him and blood was pouring from his face. We rushed to the hospital but they didn’t help him at all.  They didn’t even look at his face to see how bad it was.  They just gave him a card and told him to sit down. As we waited I could see it was getting worse and when I asked a guy how long he had been waiting to just be assessed and he said an hour and a half I decided we were going to a hospital in another town. We went there and were attended right away. They could see the gash was right by his eye and it had torn already and was getting worse. They stitched him up and were awesome at attending to us. The doctor told Travis he was lucky it wasn’t any closer to his eye.  I am so thankful to God for His protection. The hook went in so close to his eye that the doctor said that Travis eye was exposed. :S Almost made me pass out when I heard that but by looking at it you could tell it was bad. It was so hard to see Travis in so much pain but I am so glad that it wasn’t worse than what it was and that he has two eyes to still see. It definitely made me think how quickly life can change. I mean I could have had a husband with one eye and it would change our lives. Not hugely but it would be a whole new adjustment in our lives and it would be hard. I am just so glad that God had His angels around Travis and that no hook went into his eye. His face may be swollen, and his eye may look black from
bruising but he has two eyes to see and for that I am very thankful.

What an amazing weekend!!! The most exciting news that I have to share with you all is that this past weekend there were angels rejoicing in heaven as at the end of the ie girl weekend several girls gave their lives to Christ and made a commitment to follow Him.

The whole conference was phenomenal. First off I have to say that the key leader Michelle and the rest of the ie team are all incredible people who have such a love and passion for God and for every girl who walked through the doors this weekend. They made everyone feel so comfortable and they did a great job at planning the schedule for this event where moms and mentors could connect with each other.

There were such special moments I got to witness this weekend like the girls sharing with their moms or mentors what their favourite memory with them was. I got to see moms and daughters hug each other and tell each other how much they loved them, got to hear their voices singing “In Christ Alone” and the most special moment for me happened at the end of the conference when I got to see mothers with tears in their eyes speak verses over their daughters and the daughters do the same over their moms. What an amazing and significant thing to see. It brought tears to my eyes.

Thank you to all who were praying for me and all who sent me encouraging notes before I spoke this weekend. I really appreciate it!!! I started to get sick with a cold and sore throat right before the conference, but God is good and He made me strong when my body was getting weak and He carried me through each time I had to speak. I am also so happy and excited to let you know that this weekend I did not have the same fear I have had in the past when I have gotten up to speak. Yes, I was still nervous but there was no intense fear. I have shared with some people that in the past when it was the day before or even the hour before I had to speak I would think in my mind, “this would be a great time for God to come back”. Not that I don’t look forward to my future, but because I really couldn’t see my self getting up in front of people. However, this time it was totally different. This weekend I spoke on Fighting Fear, Overcoming Obstacles and Finding Hope in Christ. It was interesting how they asked me to speak on Fighting Fear when I had a fear of public speaking, but it is neat how God works. In preparing my message I was able to learn so much too and apply it to my own life. I knew when I got up there to speak to everyone that God was with me and He would be the one to lead me in my speaking. I trusted him to help me do what He had asked me to do.

I am so thankful that I was asked to be a part of this conference and that I got to witness all the amazing things that happened through it. There are too many to share in a letter, but as I said before it was awesome. One girl I connected with shared with me yesterday that after this weekend she feels alive, she realizes she has a purpose here, she is reading the Bible more and that others are seeing a difference in her. Praise God!!! Please pray for all the girls who attended this event. Pray that they would continue to be strong and courageous in the Lord. Pray that they would be a light to others around them and that they would continue to grow in a deep relationship with their precious Saviour.

Thanks to all who were praying!!

Three years ago this month Tracy’s husband Scott had a brain aneurism and Jesus took him home. Scott was a wonderful man. He was known for being genuine and for loving his family the way a husband and father should and many people respected him for that.

Tracy and I have had many times where we have gotten together and talked about Scott and the wonderful memories and marriage they had. In fact I owe a huge thanks to Tracy for making me understand more of what real love is and for teaching me how to love Travis the way I should. It was through her that I learnt to really appreciate and not take things for granted with Travis. There also have been times that Tracy and I have talked about Scott’s death and life since he has been gone. Tracy hasn’t always understood what God has planned for her life and a year ago she didn’t know where she would be but her Saviour did. He knew that He was not done with her and would use her in a huge way.

At the beginning of this year Tracy came to Travis and I and confided in us that she had applied to Urban Promise in Toronto to be a site supervisor for the youth program. When Tracy came and shared this with us I was not surprised. I had felt for awhile like God would call her away from Barrie but I didn’t know where or when it was going to happen. I could see Tracy’s face light up as she talked to us about the position and what she would be doing if she got accepted. Trav and I said we would pray for her but as soon as she left we both looked at each other and said, “She has the job.” It was so obvious to us that she would be making the move and going and working in Toronto.

Travis and I were right and it has now been four months since Tracy has been working for Urban Promise and helping out with the youth down in the city. One of the things Tracy has been in charge of is putting lessons together for the students that attend summer day camp. When she was putting together the lesson on Jesus being truth she said I came to mind and knew I had to be the one to go down and share my testimony and share how Jesus has been truth in my life.

I went down on July 21^st and it was so neat to be able to see first hand the ministry of UP. I felt welcome right away when I walked into the room and a girl that was in the youth program came up to me and said, “What are you here for?” I said, “I am going to be speaking.” And she replied, “Then I will be listening.”

God gave me strength as I spoke and the next thing I knew I was done sharing. I was told after by two leaders that they couldn’t believe how quiet and still the kids were. Tracy shared with me after that the kids looked like they were on the edges of their seats waiting to hear what I was going to say next.

After I spoke I got to talk to some of the kids. One boy came up to me right away and asked me some questions and then after awhile he said, “But is your story true?” It made me laugh. I also had one of the leaders share with me that he was excited for the discussion that was going to come up in their small groups because of what I had shared.

From the things I heard and from what the kids shared with me I know that God used my story and what I shared to speak truth into the lives of the kids at Urban Promise. I was just sharing with some one the other day how sometimes my testimony becomes boring to me because it feels repetitive but it is always great to remember it is Jesus story not mine and that He can use it to reach others in whatever way He wants to reach them. I am so very thankful to Tracy for thinking of me and giving me this opportunity to go down and share my truth in Jesus with kids who needed to hear it.

Thank you all for praying for me as I went down to the city. Your prayers were so appreciated!!

I married Travis Gosselin a year ago on Sunday and it has been one of the happiest years of my life. I have had so many laughs and have already shared so many incredible memories. My husband is a man of integrity, he is someone who I can trust whole heartedly and who I can depend on. He is someone who cares for me genuinely and always makes sure that I realize that. He has provided for us and is smart about his money. He saves for our future and for the dreams we have in years to come. He makes me laugh like no one else can. He loves God and is always interested to learn more about Him. He is an example to those around him but especially at his work where he is open about his faith and his relationship with Christ. He wrote in my card this year that life is a breeze with me by his side and I have to say the same for him. Life has been incredible!

So what did he do for our 1^st anniversary? He told me ahead of time that we would be celebrating on Saturday.  I had to be ready on Saturday by 10:45. Once I was ready and in the car he gave me the 1^st of many envelopes to come that day that would have different clues as to what we were doing next. We ended up going out for breakfast but I ended up being surprised by my parents being there and joining us for that. Then we went to the mall where he gave me some money to go shopping for an hour. After that I got another clue with a map. We ended up going to an airport in Brampton and he had hired a pilot to take us flying for awhile. After that the next clue was our favourite restaurant. We went there and my sister in law and brother in law ended up being there to have dinner with us. Then Travis gave me tokens and said we were going to go on the subway to a night of laughs. We ended up getting to a place where a show called “Second City” was playing. I had never heard of it before but famous people like John Candy and Martin Short have been a part of this show at other locations. They seated us right at the front of the stage and it ended up being a show full of laughs…to the point that Travis was wiping tears away from his eyes.

Then we started to head back to Barrie. The thing I found funny was the whole day Travis did not let me look in the trunk and even after the comedy show I still wasn’t allowed to look. On our way home I realized why. We didn’t go home but instead Travis had booked the same suite we had stayed in on our honeymoon night. It was such an incredible surprise and an awesome way to end such a perfect day. He brought everything to give it that touch of a romantic night and in the end my 1^st anniversary ended up being something that I will never forget.

Yup…..once again I feel incredibly blessed. Sometimes it seems too good to be true. As I was getting ready to go to bed last night I had one of those moments were I just found myself staring at Travis and was in awe of him and who he is and how I am the one who gets to share his life with him. All the thoughts brought tears to my eyes because I am so happy where I am in life right now and am so thankful to God for an amazing husband who loves me in a way I never would have dreamed of.

At the beginning of April my Grandma was taken to the hospital and the Drs. told us she had had a heart attack. She was in the hospital for a week and it was a very scary time for my family. She is doing much better but she still can’t go out a lot and gets very tired easily.

Also at the end of April we found out that our sister in law, Charmaine’s mom, Judy had passed away suddenly from a heart attack. The news was shocking and devastating to the family. Travis and I went to the funeral to be with family and it was a very emotional time. We are very thankful that Judy knew Christ and loved Him and we know that she is up in heaven with Him and that one day we will see her again. That gives the family peace. Charmaine has had an amazing strength and it has been inspiring to see her faith and trust in the Lord during this hard time.

Just after the funeral I went up to spend time with Charmaine since my brother in law works away from home during the week. It was great to be able to spend that time with her. During the day while Charmaine was at work I was really able to focus on things I needed to do. I took a couple of books with me and read them to prepare me for my speaking engagement in November. Though I am still nervous about speaking I was really encouraged by one of the books I read. It made me realize that a lot of other people that are or were well known speakers also had fears of getting up in front of people. Even Luther had fears but he preached because he was ordered directly to do so.

In May I was also able to go with the youth from our church to “Overflow” which is a conference that is for youth that happens every year. Rich Wilkerson who is the nephew of David Wilkerson spoke and he was very powerful! He really challenged the youth but he also spoke to my life. One of the things he said which goes along with my fear of speaking in public was “Run to the things that scare you. If you’re not scared then you’re not relying on God.” During this weekend I was also able to talk to some of the girls that I was staying in a room with. They all shared similar things they were going through and we were able to talk openly about their struggles and what they can do about them. Since we have been back I have been in touch with these girls and they have shared what God did in their lives through Overflow since we talked. One girl shared with me “I’m totally happy I went to Overflow it opened my eyes and my heart to so many new people and things that God has set me to do and now I’m really excited for the future of things.”

Another exciting opportunity has come up for me. I have been asked to speak at Urban Promise in Toronto on July 21st. Urban Promise is an organization that was started by Dr. Tony Campolo and works to create safe environments where children experience nurturing care and attention during the critical hours for inner-city children. In July they will be studying Jesus as the truth and so I have been asked to go and share my testimony. I will be speaking to ages eleven to fourtenn but these kids are very street wise and older then most kids their age. Please pray for me as I prepare and go down to the city to share with the kids how Jesus has been the truth in my life.

Once again thank you to all of you for supporting me in all the ways you do! I have really appreciated the encouraging emails and letters I have received from you that are full of wisdom and truth.

“To RESCUE young women from the evil and deceit in today’s world.To RESTORE their hearts with Truth and purpose.To REBUILD each young woman with a rock solid foundation, resulting in a true identity.To RELEASE them with new worth.They in turn, being confident of their own “loved, honored and precious lives” will inspire excellence as they reach out to rescue others.We are raising the bar of excellence through the power of example with REAL TRUTH and TRUE LOVE.”

November 11^th and 12^th they are having a conference for teens, teen moms and mentors and I have been asked to be the keynote speaker. At the last conference they had, the video I was filmed in a couple of years ago sharing some of my story was shown and since then the leaders have been praying and feel like I am the one who should speak to the girls that attend this year.

I was really surprised when I was asked but was very honoured too. I shared with them that I had never done something like this before; I have spoken to youth groups and shared my testimony at different churches, but when I think of someone speaking all weekend to a crowd I think of my Dad. I know that if God wants me to do this then there is a reason and I am open and willing. Though it may be out of my comfort zone I know that God is right there with me when I am speaking and He will be my strength and my voice when I am speaking. He knows who is going to attend this conference right at this moment and He knows exactly what those girls need to hear.

They have already provided me with the topics I will be speaking on and they are Fighting Fear, Overcoming Obstacles and Finding Hope in Christ. The last topic is something I love sharing so I am super excited that is one of the topics I get to talk about.

So, could you please pray for me as I start to prepare these messages? Please pray that God would speak clearly to me on exactly what He wants me to share and say to these girls. God is so good! I am so glad that we have the Bible and that God gives us numerous stories to use as examples to teach others.

As I was preparing to speak to the youth last month I read about when God asked Moses to go and talk to Pharaoh to free the Israelites from the Egyptians. What got me were the words that Moses used to respond to God.

“But Moses pleaded with the Lord, “O Lord, I’m not very good with words. I never have been, and I’m not now, even though you have spoken to me. I get tongue-tied, and my words get tangled.”Exodus 4:10

I love God’s response and it is a good reminder when I feel insecure about getting up and talking in front of crowds.

“Then the Lord asked Moses, “Who makes a person’s mouth? Who decides whether people speak or do not speak, hear or do not hear, see or do not see? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go! I will be with you as you speak, and I will instruct you in what to say.” Exodus 4:11

Did you know that when I was in high school there were times I would choose to get no grade on a project if it was a presentation because I absolutely hated getting up in front of people? I had such a fear of it, but God has helped me throughout the years to be able to speak in front of crowds and I know that He will continue to do so. This verse reminds me that it is Him that will give me the strength to speak when I feel I can’t and if He wants me up there to use me to speak into other peoples’ lives then He will be there with me as I speak. Isn’t it awesome that God never changes?

“I personally have a past that I am not very proud to say I have. At the Merge conference, I was reminded that my past doesn’t define me and I should not let that be the case. God defines me. God is constantly working in and through me. He knows my past and is writing me a better future. The best is yet to come! I learned that I must make my dreams and hopes for the future bigger than my memories. In order for God to show me the future and work in me, I must refresh my relationship with Him and cut out of my life the things that may not be sin but do not strengthen my relationship Him. God is amazing and once we let Him, He will do amazing thing through us!”

“Merge was an amazing experience as an individual as well as for members of our Mapleview Young Adults group. Nate was a fantastic speaker and motivated me to push my comfort level in my faith. There was a powerful group prayer amongst MYA members on Saturday morning that created a stronger bond amongst us as a group. It is a conference that I have attended in the past and will attend again.”

Two weekends ago I was asked to share my testimony and speak about God being our redeemer and restorer to the senior youth at our church. Right after my message I had a girl share things that were going on in her life and since then many doors have opened to speaking into girls’ lives. I find myself again being surprised at how many girls this month I have met or talked to that have tried to end their lives or are feeling so down that they have those thoughts yet they walk around with a smile on their face and from the outside you would never know it.

Please pray for these girls. Pray that they would understand the true and real hope there is in Christ. Pray that they would not go looking for love somewhere else. I find more and more how girls want someone who cares for them and who will tell them they love them but they don’t realize that the one who cares for them and loves them the most is right there with open arms wanting them to grow closer with Him. They need to understand that even though He may not physically be in front of them He is there.

Our Young Adult study continues to go really well. We continue to learn more on different subjects like philosophy and ethics and we answer questions like who is man and who is God? As well this past Saturday we had a fun social night were we played a bunch of different group games. Twenty people attended and it was a fun night full of lots of laughter.

God is doing great things in my ministry! I have realized this past week once again how thankful I am to be able to have the time to do what I do. No, I do not make as much money as I used to and sometimes that can be hard but…God has been opening up doors this year and though right now I am not able to say anything until things are confirmed I am excited for what is to come.

I hope you all are doing well. I am praying for those of you who have shared what is going on in your hearts and your lives lately. May He give you wisdom and direction in choices you are making, may He give you the peace where you need it in your life, may He show you that things that you thought weren’t possible are and may He continue to open up doors in your own personal lives.

On February 5^th we had our last Re:sound worship night. We had the Nexus band and Levi denBok lead the worship. We did not want this night to be about the bands or one person we wanted it to be about God. We wanted young adults to come together and praise and give glory to the one who deserves it. I am so happy to report that this night was exactly this. We have heard great feedback about that night. One of the testimonies was this “It was truly inspiring and just an extremely powerful time of worship. I am still blown away, so once again thank you for inviting me.”

So where does this leave us now? Travis and I feel strongly we are to continue running a young adult group at our church. Now we can spend more time focusing on reaching young adults in our church and helping them grow in Christ. We have started doing the “Truth Project” in our small group. Though it is an intense study it is something that young adults need to learn. We are going to continue to meet bi weekly but are also going to start having more social events and add serving events as well. We have seen great things happen in this group already and we know there is more to come.

On March 4^th we are going to be going away over night and taking some young adults to a conference in Toronto. Pray that the young adults that attend would be touched that weekend. That they would learn something new and that God would really speak to them wherever they are at in their life. Also pray that friendships would grow and that Travis and I have a chance to get to know our group more too.

I am sure you guys are wondering what is going on with my book so I will let you know that right now one of my copies is in L.A and being read by a publisher. It is a waiting game so all I can continue to do and all I can ask you to continue to do is pray. I will let you know what is happening as I find out.

Thank you all for your continued prayers and support. I appreciate it so much!! Sometimes in ministry personal things come up that I am not able to share because they are confidential but it helps to know that even though you don’t know everything you are there praying for me and lifting me up to the one who knows all.